She reaches for her seatbelt, realizing then she’s already wearing one. He, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to need his. Doesn’t have that kind of patience – to sit still for any length of time.

Riding in his car, she understands for the first time in her life, the feeling of being a passenger. But the car is a Jaguar. Fear and excitement mingle in the pit of her stomach, storehouse of ambiguous feelings. He steps on the accelerator. She wonders bravely about what lies in store.

He had picked her up at seven.

“Where are you taking me?” she had asked, kicking off her uncomfortable shoes.

“My place,” he had said, with the air of someone used to taking shortcuts with impunity.

And now, much too soon, they are there. The drive has left her feeling empty, like an over-priced amusement that ended too abruptly and too soon.

“Would you like to come upstairs?” he asks, gallantly holding the door. She smiles feebly, as if she has just been given an option. He leads her to the elevator. Once inside, she watches him press “P” for “penthouse."

The studio is spartan, in an expensive way. Twin towers of speakers stand guard on either side of the large bay window, yet there are no CDs to be seen or heard. The sparsely populated bookshelf contains classics such as Seven Habits of Highly Effective People and Development for Fun and Profit.

The wide open space is dominated by a futon and a low table, on which he has set up a board game. For refreshment, there are chips and coke.

“Let’s play monopoly,” he says, as if this just now occurred to him. He seems comfortable in this mode of mock spontaneity.

“OK,” she replies unenthusiastically, wondering if dating white boys is always this exciting. Soon the game is underway – he the sports car, and she in the role of an old shoe with a gaping hole, game pieces he has chosen and laid out beforehand.

After the opening round, he owns the utilities, and she has to pay up.

“What was that?” he asks, but she didn’t say anything. The potato chips are gone, and her stomach has begun to growl.

“Nothing,” she says, rolling two sixes for the third time in a row. How appropriate, she thinks, to be rotting in jail. (For the uninitiated: Though the rule is contentious, it is a criminal offence to roll doubles three times in a roll – punishable by incarceration!)

After that, neither says anything for a while, though her stomach continues to growl conspicuously. She thinks that maybe she could like him, if only he were different somehow, or, perhaps, a different
person altogether.

He buys and buys and buys. He acquires Pennsylvania Avenue, and Park Place, and also manages to purchase Reading Railroad. “I should marry this guy,” she muses bitterly from her jail cell.

He has always been under the mistaken impression that the reason he gets what he wants is that he’s a “risk taker.” Such is the arrogance of privilege. The real reason, of course, is that there is no reason; that it is an unreasonable expectation to have everything one wants.

The experience of this date is surreal enough, for her not to realize quite how miserable it is. For one thing, she knows that win or lose, all games must end – eventually. But more keenly, she is aware of the fact that things could always be worse, somehow.

It is this mixture of hope and dread that makes it possible for her to continue, one toss at a time. A mixture that is symbolized by a stack of pink cards in the middle of the board: the stack called “Chance.”

The board itself is best described as a square circle, or perhaps a circular square. The same misery resurfaces over and over. Somehow, she manages to stretch the $200 she earns to cover her utilities and railway fares, to live another day. And every time she has to pay, she glances briefly at the pink deck of cards, taunting her like a lottery stub hidden in one’s pocket.

For him too, these are busy times. He has started to develop his properties. It begins with a few houses here and there, but he is looking ahead. His ultimate dream is for two luxury hotels – one on Park Place, and the other – he salivates as he thinks of it – Boardwalk.

It would be wrong to suggest that she owned no property at all. She does aquire Baltic, and Vermont, and a few others as well. And at one point he even lands on Vermont, and is forced to pay her for a change. He pays his 12 dollars graciously, in cash, and seems to harbor no ill will towards her.

CHANCE

“Go on, pick it up,” he says, unsmiling. And yet his voice is not without warmth. She has landed on chance after all, and he is happy for her. And then he surprises her with something akin to kindness. “Don’t be afraid,” he says.

What he noticed was not her hesitation, but the slight trembling of her fingers in picking up the card, and of her lips in reading it, first to herself and then aloud. But these tender moments pass. In the end, the card, as most things in life, proves a bitter disappointment.

“Get him a beer,” she reads, unable to mask her incredulity. But any doubt as to the authenticity of the card is quickly dispelled by his humorless smile. And so she does as she must, lingering in the kitchen just long enough to steal a pickle from the pickle jar. Surely he won’t notice it missing, even if this happens to be the only food in the fridge. She does know, of course, that in life, as in Monopoly, stealing is against the rules.

 

He seems genuinely grateful for the beer, even confiding that he prefers a glass, and telling her, in a completely non-threatening way, where glasses are kept. At the same time she lands on Pennsylvania Avenue, with its three pretty green houses, and for the first time in the game she can’t pay.

“I can’t pay,” she says.

“You could mortgage Vermont,” he offers. She follows his financial advice.

COMMUNITY CHEST

Though he lifts the card with some trepidation, his fears are soon laid to rest.

“The city is having a celebration in your honor,” he reads. “Your opponent shall bring you a beer.” He passes her the card to prove that he isn’t making this up. (For the uninitiated: the Community Chest is yellow, not pink). And while she’s in the kitchen, getting his beer, he does something dreadfully unsavory; he helps himself to an extra $500 from the bank. He then uses the money to build another house on Pennsylvania.

When, a little later in the game, she visits Pennsylvania for the second time, there is nothing left for her to mortgage.

“I have nothing left to mortgage,” she says.

“I will let you borrow from the bank,” he offers graciously. This is a clever bending of the rules on his part. Allowing her to borrow from the bank, rather than lending her the money directly, frees up some extra cash for him to invest. In this way the game is prolonged past its natural end, something he sees as a win-win situation.

COMMUNITY CHEST (again)

Here she can be forgiven for hoping, absurdly, that maybe, finally, it will be his turn to get her a beer. She reads the card in utter disbelief.

“You have violated the public dress code. Remove your blouse.”

She looks at him helplessly. He has no comfort for her, his cold hard gaze already focused on the garment about to be removed.

The game continues for another half hour, during which time he allows her to borrow the entire bank, so that all cash in circulation is now in his possession. At the same time, she finds herself violating the dress code on two more occasions, forcing her to remove both her skirt, and her bra. And to top it all off, she is forced to clean his toilet, on her hands and knees, leaving her to conclude that this could be absolutely the worst date ever, in the entire history of dating.

BOARDWALK (with hotel)

Finally, his grand vision has been realized. And the only sad part of it is that even the bank has no money left to lend her.

“The game is over,” she sighs, shivering slightly in her socks and panties. “I guess I lost."

“No,” he says quietly, without a trace of humor in his voice. “The game is not over, and will not be over, until you pay back what you owe.

“That’s ridiculous. We can start writing promissory notes if you want, but I will never ever climb out of this financial hole. I have no properties, and no income to speak of. My debt can only grow.

“That’s not true."

“How can I possibly pay you back?"

“You can suck my cock,” he says evenly. And she finds herself wondering when this game became so serious, and what it would take for someone – anyone – to point out that the rules make no sense. She tries to formulate this new-found realization in her brain. Perhaps, she is even trying to give voice to her thought, but there is no point. It has become impossible to say anything with his cock already embedded in her throat.

Michael Hey is a Vancouver, Canada-based freelance writer and filmmaker.

COMMENTS:

Wow. God, I hate Monopoly...
Zuzlik

Depressing but true. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. I hope I never get that far in debt.
SeeingRealLifefortheFirstTime

No guy who thinks monopoly is a date should get a blowjob. It's just not right, especially with this guy.
Trevor Walper

I think this is a great story. The guy is obviously a cruel, hellbound jerk. But I think all the people who identify with them woman are partly responsible for what has happened. For all the things the greedy man did, no one forced her to suck at monopoly. No one is forcing you to be bad at making money.
Ronald

Brilliant? I was thinking more like creepy. Why is it that a woman that looses and that is just the way it was supposed to be? Good in the sense that it shows us that games of money get taken seriously when truly it is all just fake; but I don't think it had to go so far!
Kim

Incredibly powerful, and so cutthroat it's scary.
Eric Head

Absolutely brilliant.
Wendy

I don't think it's quite so simple as that. He's all bad, she's all innocent? Why is he bent on getting money and dominating her? Why is she clueless about her situation and putting up with it? People who make a lot of money aren't monsters, and people who don't aren't angels. There are people who try to get what they feel they need and some consider others' feelings more. Not out of monsterness, but out of not seeing, not being shown an alternative. There is hope for all of us capitalists, communists, republicans, democrats, muslims, christians, whatever. We're just people trying to get what we need and we all can stand to learn a few things about understanding and compassion.
Hey Me

Yeah, our family gets pretty serious about monopoly too.
Bjorn

An absolute cruel joke. A sad example of the ugly and hideous control that can translate and apply to any economic relationship from huge corporations and small business to class struggles around the world. Most importantly this piece speaks through its overarching theme of man's continued control over women. Economically or physically. This women – unsure and insecure – was a helpless pawn in a cold, corporate's man cheap ploy. This woman is the victim and in no way responsible, in the same way no woman is responsible during rape. This article is ugly but expertly crafted and amazingly written.
Rain

Great story. Agree wholly with your comments, Ronald. My question now is: does being good at monopoly correlate to how good you are at making money in real life? I hate to get off topic or sound like a smartass/idiot, but I've made this observation and have heard others make it. And if this is the case, I'm going to be sucking a lot of cock in my lifetime.
Lizzy

I think this brilliant short story is a commentary on the sickness of the 'first' world in general. What the reader is witness to is a complete lack of 'value.' Ever since the demise of the Sophists (humanists )and the birth of Aristotle and his Greek contingency, man began to lose. A quote from Pirsig sums it up: "And now he began to see for the first time the unbelievable magnitude of what man, when he gained power to understand and rule the world in terms of dialectic truths, had lost. He had built empires of scientific capability to manipulate the phenomena of nature into enormous manifestations of his own dreams of power and wealth, but for this he had exchanged an empire of understanding of equal mangnitude: an understanding of what it is to be a part of the world, and not an enemy of it." In the last paragraph of Michael Hey's short story: "And she finds herself wondering when this game became so serious, and what it would take for someone – anyone – to point out that the rules make no sense." Ever since 9/11 there has been a massive movement toward a greater Truth. I believe Michael Hey is inviting the reader to seriously question our current understanding of Value in our society before throats have to be slit.
Ralf Hornung

Maybe she will bite his dick off....
Sawbux

Perilously inspired.
Juany

I wonder what the latest edition of pictionary will entail? Maybe she could have bitten his dick off. Or even urinated in his beer. But alas those are only meek possibilities in a cruel world where women don't have enough balls as they should!
Anski

That took some serious thought. A great tale of how the rich keep getting richer.
MJ

This story is much more than what appears on the surface. It's symbolic; a snapshot fn life itself, on how we suddenly find ourselves trapped, entangled in the webs of the few power-hungry, arrogant, self-proclaimed winners, on how we end up having to play by their rules. We are that girl, think about it.
Art Zaratsyan

What a great allegory! Truly we are all hookers in the game of life. Unless you're in the 0.5% who are getting their dicks sucked. What a world we have made for ourselves. Why doesn't the woman leave? Why does she put up with it all? Look in the mirror. Why do we? We know it's just a game. Why do we keep playing along?
Gunther Erikson

Is it just me or does it seems that this isn't just about a game of monopoly? Har Har.
Ramona

It was his game. She didn't have to play.
Epiphany

I think "Hey Me" got it right. Only we're all monsters in many ways, and often don't even know it.
John

This is much more than just Monopoly, the game. It is about Monopolization of thought, self and culture by capitalism. All things desired are arbitrary, devised precisely to create preconceived outcomes. The game is rigged from the moment she sits in his car. The woman could be the entire third world or just a human in the USA, Europe or Asia. The point is to realize your individuality and stop the idolatry of money and manmade, false ideals. She is not without fault though, as she is complicit in this little game. Her hope is for some reward which, sadly, will not be presented in the manner she hopes for.
Dylan

Great writing ("Chips and coke for refreshment"); am I the only one who sees the crafty ambiguity? And the twin tower speakers with no music. This is all very inspired! As for the story, I feel that some of the commenters seem to take the story on a first level. Makes me wonder if the game of Monopoly was invented before 1929? 'Cause it is rigged to start with, as was the economy then, at least more obviously than now. And yes, the girl's helplessness does feel fictitious, but while we're thinking "Get outta there you prick!", maybe we sould ask ourselves why we're still playing the rigged game of neoliberalism.
f

Why are so many of the articles in Adbusters so bleak and depressing? Modern reality can be this way at times but their is always hope and a way out. There is a coldness to the way the current financial world has been set up, but you find the truth and change it from within. It's a stupid game that causes much needless suffering, worry, and fear in this world. The victim role never suits anyone and I'm tired of the portrayal of the weak and ignorant female at the mercy of the forces at work around her, in this case the buisness man with no ethics or morals. Please someone create a city like the hidden one that people of value – male and female – live their lives such as in Ayn Rand's ATLAS SHRUGGED and I'll be the first to join.
GM

Although it is nice prose, this story reeked of American Psycho. American PSycho was great when it was written by Bret Easton Ellis, but others should not attempt it.
Melissa

I hate debt.
Tible

I'm sick of women being portrayed as victims too. I totally always win at Monopoly and I've made men strip and go down on me. I didn't shoot them like Juliette Lewis in Natural Born Killers or anything. (Well, because he gave really good head.) But I do believe this story does portray an example, like Rain said, of any dysfunctional economic relationship. It's important to look at the role of male and female as gender-related not gender-specific. Any human or group of humans that let's another human or group of humans control a situation even though they feel awkward should stop the progression of events at the time they sense it's not cool. She clearly didn't feel right about getting to his place so soon. She could have spoken up at that point. She could have spoken up before going inside. She could have said, "Actually, I think you're going to win this one, I gotta go" when the first card came up to get him a beer. She went through with it by choice. Those choices are the problem. His ability to control it was not the problem. We don't know what would have happened if she asserted herself. But she wasn't a victim to me.
max28

"...unenthusiastically, wondering if dating white boys is always this exciting." Newsflash: Yup. Pretty much since it occured to them they would take it upon themselves to stick their flagpoles anywhere they pleased. I'd say this was sadly predictable. But a modern telling of an age old tale.
RJE

Damn. The story itself is disturbing but hypnotic. I sort of guessed where it was going but couldn't stop reading. Surrealism geared to make a broader metaphoricl point. You get an A on the assignment.
Heimdallr

Truly a well-written story, with some intresting thoughts in it. Congrats to the writer from Argentina!
Nacho

Crazy
JP

I wonder how many readers masturbated to that? I know I got off. Keep 'em coming, Adbusters!
Unrepentant Capitalist Swine

The only way not to loose is to stop rolling the dice. Be happy with where you are and what you have. If you haven't the money for stuff, don't borrow it, debt is the doorway to slavery. The mistake is playing the game on someone elses terms. Just because somone tries to go someplace doesn't mean you have to. After all they are just going around in a circle, or square and will wind up in the same spot soon.
Chris J

It's all bad Karma . . . after the theft of a pickle. Hmmm . . .
Ebin

That is truly brilliant.
Bobby Drake

It's so sad to think that this is the way it really is sometimes.
GC

Stereotypically unreal. But a great allegory.
Kari Potter

If only she had horrible gas...a good fart would cure this dilemma!
Goon of Earl

You North Americans are so miserable. You think THAT is reality? You think THAT is sad? You spend your time saying stupid things about how bad it is to be rich when you all destroy the world with your stupid destructive culture. Oh My God!!! She sucked his dick!!! That's saaad... You don' t know what sadness means. Come to Brazil and thaen we talk about it.
Southern People the ooootherss

Max28 said: "I totally always win at Monopoly and I've made men strip and go down on me." Victimizing someone else is not the only way to feel empowered. Max28: "She could have spoken up at any point. . . . She went through with it by choice. His ability to control it was not the problem. We don't know what would have happened if she asserted herself. But she wasn't a victim to me." The point of the story is not that she 'chose' to play. The point is that she felt as though she had NO CHOICE at all. It is not a story about a board game, it is about us all, and how we participate in an economic system designed to enrich the few at the expense of the many.
Serpent7

Why people, is it always a BAD MAN, and never a woman? Why is it not a woman in this case saying "lick my pussy" after she has won at monopoly? Advertising is mainly aimed at women, know why? Because women consume 85% of all commodities in the western world! Anyway there are rich women, normally where rich men are. Don't give me all that crap about, the problems of the world is because women are oppressed by men, women oppresses to, by consuming far to much, especially in the western world!
Jane

Hopefully this girl learns the first time around.
Crimson Thoughts

After reading this story I feel like sometimes I'm the one giving a BJ for the wrong reasons. But in a corporate world how do you not find yourself every so often with a dick in your mouth?
Jillian

Great allegory. It shows that if you are not financially fit or have da money smarts you gotta blow the corp/gov to get anywhere. Sht my family had to do that for years before we could get on our feet enough to buy food other than rice, beans, ramen and oatmeal. Sad that this stuff is happening in the much glamorized America.
Asa

Nice and predictable.
Automatic

Riveting!
WallPaper

It's easier to accept the shallows, than the blunt truths of the world.
luxery tax

She was a victim? Um no...just stupid. Should have opened her mouth and spoke up DURING the game, then shut it tight before he could slip it in after the game was done. Problem solved.
Aleks

Hey, and I thought Monopoly was boring! Egad! To think of all the boring sexgames me and wifey have played, what with the monopoly board right there on the shelf and all. Even if this author is hopelessly unimaginative, he or she or whatever is on to something good.
Roger

Apparently this girl, very much like the underpriveleged and the generally exploited in our society, did not realize that she had a choice. When the cards are stacked against her and the game is rigged from the onset, there is still a way out in order for you to create your own game – if only you knew how!
Nicole

As soon as she felt strangely uncomfortable, she needed to leave. She should feel this need to do what he wants. Nothings going to change. Our western world society is completely ridiculous.
Disturbed Always

This "innocentpolitically" gal sure could use some real world training and fight back against such artificial authority. Come on! Time for a little socialistic/tribal/commie revolution complete with guerrella tactics. Burn Pork Place to the ground, bust his rib with a sidekick if he is gonna use physical force and leave. This sad story only shows how uneducated a mind can be. Bollocks is what I think of your profane game.
Rustler

Umm... What?
Christian (Rhode Island, USA)

Wow. Quite powerful. I was going to use this article for my art project, especially since my teacher recommended this website. The word cock pretty much ruined that idea. Great story though...
Amazon

To Amazon: use it anyway! Trust me, quoting a mildly offensive word with an academic purpose in mind is not going to be a problem, if your teacher recommended the website.
vz

Didn't anyone else notice that this story is sexist as well as racist?
zxcvbnm

Creepy, dark, sinister, and yet brillant.
Alex

A metaphor for the state of the world. Gorgeously written.
Brittany

What does this story really say? You work for your money no matter how you get it. So ladies, if you decided to date some guy just for his car or money don't expect a free ride. I think most people here missed that point. I know a girl who did just that, married for money and that's all she has, money and no soul.
Bronx

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